Financial Divorce and Re-Marriage

Seems interesting that the subject about re-marriage has been top-of-mind this week.  Perhaps my recent article in Bank Rate and an interesting lunch with family law lawyer, Jeff Rechtshaffen, helped to pave the way.

Jeff and I spoke about remarriage and he re-directed me to an article on his web site.  I thought to share it with you as I think it definitely has a lot of salient advice.  His article is entitled, "When Should You Get a Pre-Nup?"

http://www.torontofamilylaw.com/article_When_to_Get_Pre-nup.php

http://www.bankrate.com/can/news/rrsp-rrif/Apr11_remarriage_tips_plan_1can.asp

The Debits and Credits of Divorce

The financial aspects of a divorce can play out differently for every divorcing couple.  At a time of high emotion you may want to protect yourself, financially by making some prudent choices.  Your bank ~ you want to make sure that they know about your situation.  Any money held in joint accounts likely only needs one signature to withdraw so you want to ensure you take your half out and place it in an account in your name only.  Ensure the bank also puts a hold on any credit cards that you jointly share.  Those country songs about seeking revenge and making the other spouse pay through reckless credit card spending came from somewhere.  You want to make sure that it doesn't happen to you.  Remember, you are still jointly responsible for that debt.  That means that even if your spouse is not paying the monthly payments on those credit cards...you should.  Any repayment can, hopefully, be settled through the separation agreement as part of the negotiation.  It's better to do it that way than end up alone with bad credit.  Another good exercise would be to close any credit cards you don't need. 


Remember those investment accounts, especially the registered ones?  Registered Retirement Savings Plans and Registered Pension Plans (as well as Tax-Free Savings Accounts) often ask for the account holder to determine a beneficiary.  If you chose your spouse you may want to contact the financial institution managing these accounts to change your beneficiary.  


Now that you have looked after the registered savings what about the regular savings investment s that you have?   Those assets and their distribution are covered in your Will so you will want to re-write that too. 


Your not finished yet....while you are re-writing your Will  you may want to consider re-writing your Powers of Attorney (PA).  Your PA covers both medical and financial matters should you become incapacitated. The last thing you want is your spouse to be calling the shots with the doctor as to your care, if you can't speak for yourself!!!  

Negotiations for the Right Reasons in Divorce

Sometimes divorcing people seek to covenant certain assets for the wrong reasons, typically fueled by anger.  "She cheated on me so I want her favourite......"(fill in the blank) is common.  When looking at the financial aspects of divorce, however, emotions should be negated in favour of logic.  Easy to say and hard to do, I realize.  I know my example is stereo-typical but all too often this is the scenario.  Wife wants to keep the house.  Why?  One reason is the way that women perceive money.  Studies have shown that women equate money with security.  A house has bricks and mortar and it provides shelter, after all.  Another reason may be that she does not want the children to experience too much change, all at once.  Dad is no longer at home and changing schools and the pressure of creating new friendships may prevail.  Although this reasoning may have a lot of validity, is it reasonable.  Maybe the house means a lot to him and she is angry but can she afford to keep the house?  Will she deplete all her assets held outside of the home to try to keep the house, finding out a few years later that she is house rich and in debt?

Maybe more logical choices are available keeping in mind the reasons stated for wanting to keep the house.  Perhaps less costly housing alternatives are available in the same neighbourhood so that that kids can go to the same school and have the same friends.  Maybe the newer housing alternative may be a benefit from other points of view like, no memories of married life and less upkeep.  Perhaps less expensive housing alternatives can also give her the opportunity to save for retirement, as well.

 In my example, I talked about the wife wanting to keep the house but men have other challenges in their financial decisions, especially if they are paying child and/or spousal support.  A little less often but becoming more common place that in past years is the issue of the wife paying support to her husband, especially since women have been advancing in their business careers and the same types of issues need to be considered in this scenario.  

The power of the financial neutral in a divorce situation is to draw out these conclusions before the financial errors are set in motion.  Often clients do not want to pay an additional professional (other than their lawyer) to help with the divorcing process but my argument is, "How can you afford not to?"

Divorce? Remarriage?

Remarriage? Who wants to think about the legalities of anything past signing the new marriage certificate when you are getting married again?  For most, remarriage is a significant turning point of a renewed beginning with all the hopes and dreams that most of us lost during divorce or widowhood, hopefully, with the lessoned learnt from the first experience.

Who wants to think about legals issues and considerations of the impact on others when we want to be selfish and focus on our 'special day'?   Before walking down this isle or, if you prefer, standing on a beach or overlooking a volcano to say your wedding vows you may want to consider the complications that might arise which may cloud your bright, shinny future.  Ben Franklin said, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure".  In this case having your remarriage legal issues well in place before you promise the rest of your life to another may add to the relief allowing you to actually enjoy your 'special day' and save you a lot of money should the unthinkable come to fruition.

Here's the link to my story......it may save you a fortune and your family many headaches to ensure you have everything well plannned out beforehand and that your estate is actually handled in the way you had intended it to be handled.

http://www.advisor.ca/advisors/news/industrynews/article.jsp?content=20100712_093205_4840